Why Black Women don't self-care....
We have to admit, being BLACK & a WOMAN.... in America- easy right?
I know this one is going to hit home for a lot of women. Let's start the conversation by saying, YES, BLACK WOMEN self care. However, there is a moment in most Black Women lives where we didn't know what it was or even if a such thing existed. Below are some very real reason why Black Women don't self care.
We have a serious misconception about self-care
I don't know how many times I have tried to explain to women in conversation, that its okay to take care of you. You get the stories of being needed and how they can't afford a day off. And that's simply not true. Self care comes in many forms, no that doesn't mean a new outfit and a trip to the spa. But it does mean a good cry, scream, journal bomb fire and/or cleansing of all unnecessary ass spirits. When in doubt, start with a good long bath or shower. Some of the best methods of self care come from what we already have to do. Then from there, build up your routines to become hour, days and even weekend rituals.
In the media or movies, Black women are portrayed are the "strong one"
I was watching tv one day and noticed I had watched 3-4 movies back to back where the black woman had to be dangerously strong. Not once was she comforted or consoled for literally breaking down and just having a "moment". And honestly I was thrown by that. I said to myself "they too strong for me", and I said that because over time I learned it was okay to not hold stuff in for the sake of everyone else around you.
Even with anti-aging cream, hair care and make-up-- I don't see a lot commercials being marketed to us to say "It's okay take a break from life"... I just don't.
We're afraid to regroup because we don't know if we can
Sometimes, confronting those demons is hard. I told y'all, we gotta walk through life with our shit together and the moment you don't have it together you okay. So imagine, trying to be in that space. But, you can't honestly say that if you opened that bottle when it will stop fizzing over.
So in result, I try to be more like water, so no matter how hard you shake me I won't swell and explode.
Some women really don't know if they are worthy of that time
Everyone depends on you to make it happen, and sometimes you lose your identity and forget, if you ain't good nobody is! Especially if you're a mother or wife. Those things require 24 hour access to you. BUT (there is a but), (insert claps) YOU ARE WORTHY OF A MOMENT TO YOURSELF. YOU ARE WORTHY OF A MOMENT TO REGROUP! Look for moments in your day to take deep breaths and dance in the mirror. You deserve to self care...
No matter how loud the world can be in opinions or views of you, sis! They can wait.
Happy Self Care!
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